An Old Fashioned Family Tradition of Service – Part Four
“Gentlemen … have you ever considered the negative impact on society, as a whole, caused by the homeless?
“Laura noticed it first, in association with our solution for the runaway problem. If home is, indeed, where the heart is, then the men and women who have no fixed address must be thought of as somewhat heartless. Bereft of this most basic of needs, their existence quickly degrades to the point of savages. Scavaging and begging for sustenance, taking shelter from the elements wherever possible, wearing whatever clothing that can be found or taken, and serving as a blight upon the morale of every hardworking man and woman who they happen across. After all, there but for the grace of God, gentlemen, goes us all.
“Well, in Laura and my case, there but for the grace of trust funds, but it works out the same.
“I’ve read that every celebrity death sends thousands scurrying back to the gyms and health food stores. There is nothing quite like having an example of what awaits the unwary shoved into one’s face to inspire one to greater feats of prevention. Or panic, since seeing what might happen to us always raises our overall awareness of the frailty of our comfortable existence just a smidgen and increases our loud of fear and nervousness, to boot!
“Thus, just seeing the homeless roaming the streets and begging for help is bad for the overall morale and mental health of the community.
“Then there is the crime problem that accompanies, for whom among us wouldn’t steal to save his children, his spouse, or his life? And how does one punish a homeless person who steals, eh?
“That’s right … he or she is given a warm place to stay, one that is far safer than the streets, three good meals a day, clothing, and access to basic sanitary needs. If they are ill, they’ll even receive free health care. Granted, there is no freedom, but was there any to begin with?
“So what’s the solution? Build more shelters, perhaps? More soup kitchens? Better public health systems and, possibly, finance through equal parts taxes and contributions some sort of training program, so that they can lift themselves up by their bootstraps and get on with their lives?
“Here’s an odd fact for you, gentlemen: Put food out for the strays in your immediate neighborhood and, even if the nearest forest is miles and miles away, soon raccoons appear. A historical reality is that any city that tried to solve the problem by caring for the homeless soon found themselves with more homeless! Build a thousand room shelter and discover that you know have several thousand homeless.
“And why not? Imagine that you can no longer afford even the most basic requirements for civilized existence. You’re living in the backseat of a car, rummaging through garbage for whatever you can find, bathing – when possible – in public restrooms … then word filters down to you that – say – Hartford has just built a huge shelter, complete with kitchen and jobs!
“Hartford is about to experience a migration, a stampede, a – heh – ‘bum’s rush’ of the homeless.
“Fine … what about the second solution? The one we applied to runaways?
“The homeless are, for the most part, invisible people anyway. Why not just finish the job and make them vanish completely? From a moral point of view, it’s like putting strays to sleep, instead of letting them suffer. From an ethical point of view, it improves both the lives of the average citizen and saves the homeless from abuse and eventual death from any number of situations. From a legal point of view … well, perhaps it might not be considered to be exactly legal to dispatch the homeless, but were one to apply logic, one quickly notes that the law is doing diddly to protect the homeless. Ergo, it can be assumed that there is at least a quasi sort of legality in removing them from the community.
“As a matter of fact, many communities do so openly. They take their homeless and buy them bus tickets to somewhere else, dust off their hands, and pat each other on the back for having ’solved their homeless problem.
“Laura and I simply took the concept a step further … well, perhaps a leap further. We simply gave them ‘tickets’ for their ultimate destination and saved society oodles of tax money and the homeless months or years of suffering. At first, as with all our other projects, we worked at the problem one and two subjects at a time, but that was akin to stepping back to the ‘rid the world of prostitutes and rapists’ fiasco of our youths.
“Then my mother died and the family fortune passed on to my generation. As eldest son, I took over the management of our assets and slowly adjusted our charity donations to lean more towards helping the homeless, culminating in the building of the largest homeless shelter on the East Coast.
“The Taylor Foundation Shelter for the Homeless,” the Captain muttered, horrified.
“Yes, the Taylor Foundation Shelter for the Homeless,” Al Taylor agreed, adding, “Or as Laura and I like to call it, the Roach Motel.” Al sat back with a happy little grin on my mild face. “Complete with training facilities, kitchens, rooms for complete families, and a free clinic.” He sat forward and raised both eyebrows. “Have any of you gentlemen noticed an increase in the homeless population since we opened? No? Have any of you gentlemen ever wondered why?”
